


All I want to do is swing with you

by catstieeel



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Amber and TJ are siblings, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, like a lot of pining, tj has feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-17 22:55:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19964590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catstieeel/pseuds/catstieeel
Summary: T.J and his sister Amber get swept into the world of the Good Hair Crew thanks to the boy next door.literally just Andi Mack but it's gayer and T.J has a lot of feelings





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first andi mack fic (had to publish it in tyrus week of course) so please be nice!
> 
> Thanks for reading x

T.J had noticed Cyrus Goodman long before basketball season began.

He'd noticed him even before his sister, Amber (who for some reason was still dating the boy next door), had mentioned Andi Mack and her friends, who were apparently trying to steal Jonah from her.

The first time he'd noticed him was back in kindergarten, when a little boy who had cried at the sight of a plastic lawn flamingo screamed in joy at a cartoon about dinosaurs. T.J's three-year-old mind had looked up to him then, thinking that this boy was possibly the bravest kid in class because everyone else (including him) had thought that the dinosaurs were terrifying. He would follow him around, from a distance, and watched as he quickly became friends with anyone he talked to. 

T.J was the opposite of this loud and happy boy - he was too shy to speak to anyone other than his friend Reed. 

The two ran in different circles, never having reason to speak to one another, although T.J often saw him in the halls and at lunch, sitting with two girls and laughing loudly. 

He thought [hoped] that maybe Cyrus would join Little League or one of the other team sports he was in so that they'd have a reason to talk and become friends, but that never happened. And T.J was okay with that - he was okay with admiring the other boy from afar. 

It wasn't until years later, when he saw Cyrus walking down the street to his house that he realised that perhaps this wasn't admiration - this was a crush

T.J had never had a crush on anyone before, girl or boy, and he flushed red just thinking about speaking to the other boy.

Oh god, what am I meant to say to him? he thought, but then Cyrus had turned to walk down next door's drive and knocked on their door instead. Of course he wasn't about to show up on his doorstep - they'd never even spoken before. T.J dropped his head into his hands and groaned, wondering if crushes always made people this stupid. 

He looked out of the window again, watching as Jonah and Cyrus did some sort of bro handshake and he frowned, looking down at his hand and wishing he could've been in Jonah's place instead. 

"You okay there, bro?" Amber asked. T.J turned his head around so fast he got whiplash.  
"Yeah I'm fine." He said, trying to block Amber's view as she peered around him through the window to see what he'd been staring at.  
"Oo-kay.." She said, looking at him weirdly. "I'm going to the park to watch Jonah play Ultimate Frisbee." She smiled dreamily, getting the look she always had on her face when she talked about Jonah. "Wanna come?"

T.J was about to refuse because why would he want to watch a bunch of people throw around a disk but then he remembered that Cyrus would very possibly be there and he nodded quickly.

They sat on a bench close to where they were playing, far enough away that they wouldn't risk being hit. His sister sighed.  
"I suppose I can see the appeal." She said, watching as Andi caught the Frisbee. "She's very pretty. And I like her clothes."

But at this moment T.J wasn't listening to his sister's love triangle drama - he was too busy looking at Cyrus.

He was wearing a dorky vest jacket with a dozen pockets, things bulging out of each and every one and lecturing anyone who came close to him about the dangers of melanoma. 

"Adorable." T.J muttered, not noticing he had spoken out loud.  
"What?" Amber shoved into his space, trying to get into his line of sight to see where he was looking. "Aw, does my little brother have a crush?" She asked. T.J went red. "You should go talk to him!" 

T.J glared at her. "No way, I wouldn't even know what to say!"  
Amber pushed him off the bench, and T.J thought, not for the first time that his sister was scarily strong. "Go ask for sun cream or something - he seems to be on a mission to protect everyone from the sun's vicious rays." She said, obviously not caring about the dangers of UV herself as she stretched out her long, golden legs in front of her.

He grumbled, walking away from her, knowing she wouldn't take no for an answer. 

His heart began racing as he got closer and closer, hoping he wouldn't fumble all his words, but just before he reached the table where Cyrus stood the Frisbee whacked him in the head, knocking him to the ground.

The boy who threw it came rushing over, apologising vehemently, along with Cyrus and some other bystanders. 

"Are you okay?" Cyrus asked, holding out a hand to him.  
T.J took it and squinted up at him, the sun in his eyes, not knowing that to Cyrus his squint looked like the scariest frown he'd ever seen on another person. It was as if Cyrus had killed this guy's puppy or something. He helped T.J up and let go of his hand as soon as he was stable on his feet, taking a step back. T.J was staring down at Cyrus. This was the first interaction he'd had with the other boy and on the inside he was freaking out.  
"I'm good." he grunted and Cyrus smiled nervously before running away towards his friends, because w o w he really couldn't cope with that glare. 

The boy who had thrown the Frisbee apologised again, looking terrified but T.J just shoved the Frisbee back into his hands and walked back towards the bench where Amber was sat.

She had a hand sheltering her eyes from the sun and had a smirk on her face, and T.J knew she'd seen the whole thing.  
"Smooth." She snorted.  
"Shut up." T.J said. "Let's go home."  
She sighed, grabbing her bag. "You know, if you smiled more you probably wouldn't scare so many people away."  
"I could say the same thing to you."  
"Touche."


	2. Chapter 2

T.J crumpled up his exam paper, throwing it in the bin. The bright red 'F' could still be seen though, as if it were taunting him.

He hated maths. So. Much. 

Why do I find it so difficult? He thought, grabbing his phone and angrily texting his result to the tutor that his teacher had made him get. In all of his other subjects, he got pretty good grades. It was as if every other aspect of his life was doing well that they took up all of his good fortune, leaving nothing but despair for mathematics.

He could hear his parents downstairs, arguing about money. Again.

So maybe it wasn't all other aspects of life that were doing so well. His dad had lost his job, a while ago actually, but he'd only told them about it at Christmas. It hadn't made the season very festive - instead it meant that he and Amber had both gone down the high street to hand out their CVs, hoping it would ease the strain on their parents.

Amber walked into his room, closing the door behind her to block out the sound. He saw as she eyed his discarded exam paper.

"Please don't say anything to them." He said. "I don't want to cause any more stress."

Amber shrugged. "Midterms aren't really important anyway. They don't affect your end of year grade." 

T.J nodded. He knew that really they were important, but he appreciated that she'd tried to make him feel better.

The shouting downstairs got louder and they heard a door slam, and the sound of a car pulling out of the drive.

"Do you think they're gonna get a divorce?" Amber asked. She looked on the verge of tears and T.J felt the same as she looked. He grabbed her hand.  
"I honestly don't know."

***

Basketball season was starting again on Monday and T.J couldn't've been more grateful. His dad hadn't come home all weekend and his maths tutor had quit on him that morning, so he had a lot of pent up anger that he couldn't wait to get rid of, and when he was out there, throwing hoops and being the star of the court, it felt like everything was okay.

T.J had been chosen for team captain while playing last year, making him the only 7th grader to be leading the team in Jefferson Middle School's history, so he had a reputation to uphold into this new year. 

He was stood to the side, idly spinning a ball in his hands and watching critically at all the noobs on the court. The start of a new season meant basketball tryouts, and that meant breaking a lot of dreams.

Reed elbowed him, pointing across the gym. "Is that a girl?" He said ludicrously and T.J looked over at her, laughing when he saw. Compared to all the other players she was tiny. "She doesn't stand a chance." 

T.J smirked. She looked confident, and he couldn't wait to break her spirit down. 

The problem was though, something he'd never admit to thinking, was that she was actually a good player. She'd scored every hoop she'd thrown and avoided the tackles of everyone who had come her way - even Reed. And from the way the coach was watching, T.J knew that he'd seen her talent too.

With everything else going on right now, T.J couldn't afford to lose his star basketball player rep. He'd be damned if she took that from him. 

He watched as she yet again bypassed Reed, dribbling the ball and heading towards the goal. He was not going to let this happen. 

Just as the ball left her hand he blocked it, tapping it away and smirking at her as if it were nothing. 

She looked angry now, her eyes following him as he scored a 3 pointer and T.J knew it would just take one more push.

The next time she had the ball, he moved in front of her, and as she went to move forward he charged, tackling her harder than necessary and knocking her to the ground, taking the ball right out of her hands. 

She glared up at him, shoving her hand out but he didn't take it. She stood up on her own. 

"That was a foul." She told him.  
"This is a drill." He said, making his voice as patronising as possible. "There aren't any fouls in a drill."  
"What is your problem?" She asked. "You're the captain. Is this how you treat your teammates?"  
"You'll never know." T.J laughed harshly. She made it too easy. "Go back to the playground, little girl."

But no matter how many times he blocked her throws and called her names, her spirit never broke. It it annoyed him immensely, and he didn't even need to look at the roster the next day to know that she'd made it onto the team. 

He overheard as her friend told her he hadn't made it and turned toward the pair, arms crossed and smirking as he said "Don't worry, she won't last long." 

T.J expected her to ignore him and stay silent like she had the day before at tryouts but this time she didn't. 

She marched over to him, ignoring her friend's protest and stood before him with a smile that was overly sweet.

"I don't think we were properly introduced. I'm Buffy" She said. "The new shooting guard."  
"Funny." T.J said, not even telling her his name because c'mon - everyone knew who he was. "You look like the new bench warmer."

He turned and walked away, not even waiting for her reply.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the first game of the season, and T.J knew he was being a dick by not throwing to Buffy but he really wasn't in the mood. He was tired as hell and looked like a hot mess because his parents had been up all night yelling. Again.

Reed was dribbling the ball and heading towards her as she called to him that she was open, but T.J blocked her way and signalled for him not to pass to her. Reed shrugged and tried to score himself, but missed. Buffy got hold of the ball, calling for a quick rebound and got in position to shoot, but T.J was on her in an instant, taking the ball out of her hands and taking the goal for himself.

He shrugged at her in lieu of an apology and jogged past. He saw as she glared up at the crowd as someone cheered for her, and followed her gaze to a sign that read: 'Buffy dribbles in her sleep'.

T.J snorted, looking to the person holding the sign and his heart almost stopped. It was Cyrus.

Cyrus Goodman was at one of his games.

His crush was at one of his games!

This was gonna be the best he ever played.

T.J threw himself back into the game, blocking the opposition left and right and scoring whenever he had the chance. And when they won, his heart burst with joy, hearing Cyrus' cheers and watching him jump up and down in glee at their victory.

Even if his cheers weren't for him, he could at least pretend. 

***

Despite the joy he'd felt earlier that day, dinner at the Kippen house was tense. It was just his mom, dad and him, and T.J couldn't help but feel like he should've followed in his sister's footsteps and gotten the hell out of dodge.

When Amber had come home after her shift at The Spoon to grab an overnight bag and told him she was spending the night at Andi's he thought she'd gone mad.

"The last time you mentioned that girl to me was when you said she was avoiding the diner because you worked there!" He was sat on Amber's bed, watching as she shoved clothes into her bag. "Wait, you're not planning to smother her with a pillow because she stole your guy, right?"  
Amber laughed but T.J was genuinely worried. When it came to Jonah, his sister went psycho. "No, I'm not going to murder her." She said, sighing when she saw the hesitation still on his face. "Andi is nice, I want to be her friend. Also it gets me out of this hellhole for a while..."

Yep, I definitely should've gotten out. T.J thought, Reed would've put me up for the night. 

He cleared his throat and announced he was going to get an early night as he stood from the dinner table. He took his plate to his room, seeing as he'd barely touched his food and sat at his desk.

A little while later his mom came in. 

"I'm sorry that you two are having to deal with this." She said. She looked so sad and T.J frowned.  
"It's not your fault, mom." He said, because it wasn't - it was his dad who had lied and not said anything for months.   
"You shouldn't be having to go through this though - shouldn't be wanting to not be at home."  
"Are you going to get a divorce?" T.J asked, and his mom looked pained as she shrugged, telling him that she didn't know.

It wasn't that T.J wanted his parents to split up. He just wished all the arguing would end.

"Amber took some of her old clothes to the store last weekend." His mom said. "Maybe you could do the same with your old books?" 

He spent the rest of the evening reading through comic books and putting them into cardboard boxes. He didn't really want to get rid of them - they brought back memories of being a carefree kid - but he knew he would probably never look at them again. Plus, some were first editions, so he could get a good amount for them. 

It was the early hours of the morning by the time he'd finished and piles of books and comics were stacked neatly, ready to go in the morning. T.J settled into his bed, letting the tension seep out of his shoulders. He was just about to drift off when he heard something hit the window.

He opened his eyes but heard nothing else, so he relaxed.

Then something hit again, and again, and again.

He got up and peered out of his curtains. 

Amber was stood down below, with a handful of pebbles, signalling for him to let her in. He creeped downstairs and opened the door quietly.

"What happened?" He hissed. "I thought you were staying at Andi's?"  
"I messed up." Amber said, and now that she was closer he could see her eyes were red from crying. "I really, really messed up."

T.J ushered her to his room and they sat on his bed, wrapping themselves in blankets like they would when they were little. 

"What did you do?" T.J asked, memories of their earlier conversation running through his mind.  
"Oh god, I'm such an idiot." Amber said, hiding her face in her hands. "We were having such a great time - even though her mum and friends were so sceptical, Andi defended me. She trusted me. And I let her down big time."

She told him what had happened - how they snuck out to the fairground and how she left Andi on the top of the ferris wheel.

"When Jonah called her it was like I reverted!" She said. "I was back being my old self, so defensive and bitchy and then when I heard the police sirens I just ran!"

T.J wrapped his arm around her. 

"It's gonna be okay." He said. "Everything's gonna be okay."


	4. Chapter 4

"How can you be on the basketball team if you can't even catch a damn muffin." T.J said. He was just kidding, telling it to a friend who was looking longingly at the muffin that T.J was currently sinking his teeth into. He moaned for effect, but it was true that the muffins they sold at school were incredible. Also, he deserved this. He'd just gotten some bad news - another tutor had quit on him. It wasn't his fault if they couldn't teach properly. 

"I totally would've eaten the muffin," His friend sighed. "If you hadn't stepped on it."

T.J rolled his eyes and gave the rest of the muffin to his friend, because yeah he was a dick but he wasn't going to deprive a friend of something so good. 

Even if he had deprived all those other kids in the queue.

Oh well.

He wiped the crumbs from his mouth, gave his friends a salute and walked towards the maths corridor. He was nervous to find out who his tutor would be. With every new tutor meant it was another person knowing how much he struggled with maths, but Mr Coleman had warned him that this was his last chance, otherwise he'd fail him. And that could not happen. Everyone would know that he was an idiot. 

T.J shook his head, trying to get rid of his worries. Like he told his sister; everything was going to be okay.

He walked into the classroom and stopped short, eyes wide. 

"Him!"  
"Her?!" 

Of course. Of course.

Of course fate would hand him Buffy Driscoll as his final hope of a maths tutor.

"No way!" Buffy said and T.J turned on his heel. They hadn't spoken since their last argument, when he'd told her to quit basketball. 

"I'm out." He said, but the teacher stopped him.   
"You don't have an option." He told him. "You fail this class and you're off the team." Mr Coleman turned to Buffy. "You don't want that, do you?  
"Only in my wildest dreams." She smiled.  
"But h-he's your teammate..?" Mr Coleman frowned. Buffy just snorted.  
"And in his wise words, which he recently shared with me," She grabbed her bag, shoving over her shoulder and started walking towards the door, stopping in from of T.J just to say: "That's not my problem."

Mr Coleman opened his mouth, about to say something else but T.J didn't want to hear it. He followed in Buffy's footsteps and left the room. 

When T.J got home later that day, opening the door to see his mom standing there and glaring at him, he knew a lecture was coming. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were failing maths?" She asked. "I just got off the phone with your teacher."  
T.J sighed. He knew he wouldn't have been able to keep this a secret from his parents forever. "I didn't want to worry you," He said. "I'll fix my grades. I promise."  
"T.J, your teacher said you refused a tutor today. And this was your fourth one!"  
"She turned me down first - this girl hates me!"

His mom raised her hands to massage her temples, looking exhausted. "Tyler, please try and make peace with her. I know things are difficult right now but you can't afford to let your grades slip."

T.J clenched his fists. "This has nothing to do with you and dad!" He yelled. "I've always been bad at maths - there is no excuse! I'm just an idiot!"

She stepped towards him, her eyes watering. "I - I had no idea this had been going on for so long." She said. "Am I really that bad of a parent..?" She reached out a hand as if to give him comfort but he pulled away. 

"Not everything is about you." T.J said. "You can't blame yourself for me being stupid." 

His mom looked as if she wanted to say something else but she didn't have the words. He grabbed his bag and ran past her, up to his room and slamming the door. 

He'd never said those words out loud before, but it was true.

He was stupid.

He was an idiot.

And now because of that, he wasn't going to be allowed to do the one thing he was good at. 

Well. That was unless he played nice with Buffy, and god knows that wasn't going to be easy. 

He spent the whole night thinking of how he could put it nicely that she had no choice but to help him, but he was so tense that by the time he found her the next morning, all pretences of kindness had disappeared. 

Also the fact that Cyrus was there, standing next to her when he saw her.

T.J couldn't bare to think of Cyrus' opinion of him - he was best friends with Buffy and she hated his guts. 

Great, T.J thought. I've also ruined my first ever crush because I was a jerk to his friend. 

But then, maybe if he made good with Buffy, Cyrus would realise that he wasn't such a big meanie after all.

God there was so much riding on this one conversation.

He marched up to Buffy, planning to be polite, but of course his big, stupid mouth ruined it all.

"This is how it is Buffy." He said. "You have to tutor me. I'm team captain."

Great job, Tyler. His conscience said. That was so polite.

Buffy smiled that sarcastic smile of hers.

"Sure T.J." She said. "Here's your first lesson: X x Y = Ain't gonna happen."

"Well if I'm not on the team then you 'ain't gonna' win another game."

"If you don't pass me the ball, why should I help you pass a class?" 

"Fine." T.J sighed. "I'll pass you the ball." He watched as she turned to Cyrus, a shocked look on her face and he had one to match. T.J fleetingly thought about how cute Cyrus looked when he shrugged, but when Buffy turned back to him it brought him back to the present. "Do we have a deal?" He said. 

"No." She smirked, wrapping an arm around Cyrus and dragging the terrified looking boy towards her. "You get my friend Cyrus here a chocolate chocolate-chip muffin. Then we have a deal."

T.J chuckled. "You can't get your own muffin?" He looked over to the muffins. There was only one left, and Cyrus was looking at it longingly. 

He turned to Buffy. "I didn't need this extra level of embarrassment..." He told her, turning towards T.J. "But no."

T.J's heart lurched in his chest because this was the first proper interaction they'd had and Cyrus looked like a puppy with his soft hair and big eyes.

"Well I can do it, but..." T.J smiled down at him. "Teach a man to fish?" 

Cyrus smiled back up at him and wow T.J really wasn't going to survive if he kept looking at him like that. 

He put his hand on Cyrus' shoulder, turning him to look at the last muffin.

"Walk up to the muffin like you already own it." He said. Cyrus was biting his lower lip nervously but then Buffy interrupted.

"He can't do that." She said.

"Hey," T.J frowned. "Don't tell him what he can't do."

"Dancing with danger is on my bucket list." Cyrus grinned. "Then what do I do?" 

T.J shrugged. "Take the muffin." 

"That's it?"

"Just don't let anybody stand in your way."

Cyrus nodded, taking a hesitant step forward. T.J pushed him further along the queue and he and Buffy watched as Cyrus picked up the muffin. He looked round nervously, reaching out towards it and asking if anyone minded. Complaints sounded down the line and T.J saw that he was about to back off, so he stood forward.

"Hey!" He said. "He's with me."

The protests stopped and he nodded at Cyrus, silently telling him that now this muffin belonged to him. Cyrus took the muffin delicately in both hands, looking down at it as if it were the most precious thing he'd ever held.

"You're gonna taste so sweet." He whispered to it. 

T.J smiled before turning back to Buffy.

"I'll need at least a C+." He said.


	5. Chapter 5

T.J showed up late to his first tutoring session and he had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last time he was going to be late to them. 

He walked down the corridor, dragging his feet and squinting at all of the room numbers, looking inside to see if Buffy was in there. 

"Finally." She said when she saw him.

T.J just shrugged. "Sorry. Forgot the room number." 

"And the time we were supposed to meet?" 

He looked at the clock. "I'm bad with numbers." 

"Stop with the lame excuses." She said as he went to sit down. "This isn't going to work if you're not going to take it seriously." Buffy sat across from him. "Please don't waste my time T.J. Are you going to take this seriously?"

T.J sighed, looking down. He didn't really have a choice. 

"Yeah."

"Then lets get started." Buffy beamed, getting up again and walking over to the projector. "Okay, first we're going to work on how evaluate an expression with variables."

T.J rolled his eyes and sunk into his seat. He could already tell that this was going to go on forever. 

He managed to blank out on a few slides and ignore Buffy but then it came to questions. 

"So X=2 in this equation." She told him, underlining on the interactive board. "What is Y?" 

T.J shrugged and Buffy frowned.

"Okay..." She said. "Y is 7. Just give me the sum total."

T.J shrugged again. "I don't know." 

Buffy sighed. "I really am trying to help you, T.J." She said. "But I can't if you don't even answer basic questions."

"I don't know the answer, okay!"

This is why he hated maths. It made him feel so stupid. He couldn't even do so called 'basic questions' and the fact that Buffy was so smiley and confident about it made him feel inferior. 

"Okay, lets try some pre-algebra." She said. "Mr. Brown went grocery shopping-"

"How come someone's always shopping in these problems?" 

"Come up here and work it out." Buffy held out the pen. 

"Nah. I can do it from here." He looked down at the textbook and started scribbling in his exercise book. He could feel Buffy staring at him and he squirmed in his seat. It was off putting, like she was judging him. After a couple minutes he sighed. "25." 

"How did you arrive at that answer?" She smiled.

"Is it right?" 

"No." She was still smiling. It was patronising. 

"Then who cares how I got it?" 

"Because it helps to know your though process." 

"I guessed." T.J lied. "Does that help?"

Buffy sat down and he could feel another lecture coming. "T.J, if you don't know the answer that's fine." She said. "But you have to be honest with me. Do any of these types of problems look familiar to you?"

"Sure. I've seen them before." He said. "I couldn't do them then and I can't do them now."

"Maybe you need to do some warm up exercises - like with basketball! You have a better chance at making a tough basket if you're warmed up."

"Seriously?" She was treating him like a child. "You're gonna use basketball analogies? Like you think that's the only thing I'll understand!"

He was getting agitated, because she'd seen what he saw all along. That he was only good for one thing - scoring goals in basketball. 

T.J hated Buffy. She was so smart. So good at maths, at basketball, and now she'd worked that out in no time. He felt so stupid, so dumb, he felt like such an idiot and now she saw him like that too. It was how he truly was. He wasn't a popular basketball star, he was just some idiot who couldn't pass math. 

"Hey," Buffy tried to change the subject. "You know what really helps me? The multiplication tables!" She said. "And you've gotta try this board - it's super fun."

"Pass."

"Fine." She sighed. "Use paper if you want." But he didn't write a thing. He just put his pencil down and sighed. "You do know the multiplication tables... right?" She said it as if it was the easiest thing, and he could hear the judgement in her voice.

"You think I'm stupid?" 

"I never said that."

"Well, I am." 

He had to get out of there. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He grabbed his bag and ran. It was if his worst fears had been realised. Voicing out loud that he was stupid - hearing someone else say it made it real. Even if Buffy hadn't said that exact word he knew she was thinking it. The truth had come out and she knew. She knew he was stupid and she was going to tell everyone. Because she hated him. Not only was he going to be kicked out of basketball but he was also going to be known as the school idiot who didn't even know his times tables. 

He wanted to go home but it didn't even feel like he had one to go to at the moment. He'd promised his mum he'd fix his grades and he couldn't. She was going to be so disappointed and she didn't need all the extra stress right now. He couldn't even go to see Amber because she was working. 

He followed the roads, turning left and left again. Staring at his feet and not watching where he was going, only looking up when he heard the happy screams of children. 

Somehow he'd made it to the park. He hadn't been here for months - not since before school started, at the end of summer when he'd gotten knocked over by a Frisbee and Cyrus had helped him up. 

That was the same day that he'd realised he liked Cyrus.

And it was like fate that he was here now, on the other side of the park, singing on the swings. 

T.J's heart felt heavy in his chest and it was like there was a magnet pulling him towards the other boy. His feet felt heavy too, as if each step was a marathon, but it was worth it. Because it felt like everything he needed rested in the other boy.

He placed his bag down quietly by the rocks behind the swings and took a deep breath, listening to Cyrus as he sung. It was kind of a stupid song, it was giving instructions on how to swing even though it was obvious that Cyrus knew how, but at the same time it was soothing. He wasn't sure whether it was the simple melody and repetition of the lyrics that made it so, or if it was because it was Cyrus that was singing it. 

"Nice song." 

Cyrus stopped singing. He looked scared, but not because of T.J. He just looked fragile in that moment, and his hair was sticking to his forehead slightly. 

"What do you sing when you're on the slide?" T.J asked. 

"We go down, we say yay. We don't climb up, that's the wrong way." 

"Huh," T.J smiled. "Did not expect you to have a song for that." Cyrus didn't say anything. "Chocolate chocolate-chip muffin, right?" 

He smiled faintly. "Scary basketball guy." 

"Actually T.J"

"I know." He tilted his head. "I'm Cyrus."

"So... Do you hang out here a lot?" 

"Only when I'm feeling bad about myself." He said. "So... Fairly often."

T.J hummed. "Does it help?" 

Cyrus shrugged. "It helps me." He said, watching as T.J got closer and closer to the other swing, but he seemed hesitant to get on it. "Go on." Cyrus urged. "You look like you need it."

T.J got on and they started swinging together, though Cyrus' swings were a lot smaller and more hesitant. He watched T.J though. Watched as he went higher and higher. Watched until a brilliant smile broke out onto his face. 

"Wow, this does make me feel kinda better." He laughed, sounding a lot more carefree than he had only a few seconds ago.

"What do you need to feel better about?" Cyrus asked. "You're the captain of the basketball team."

T.J sighed. "You don't know me." He said. "I got stuff."

"Bet you I got more stuff." Cyrus said. He was smiling but the words were kind of sad. 

"Yeah? Bet you I can swing higher." 

"I'm afraid to swing high. That's part of my stuff."

He kept his eyes on T.J though, watching as his swing went higher than he could've ever dreamed, and he was slightly worried for him but the other boy was cheering.

"Don't now why I ever stopped swinging!" He cried. "C'mon, get up here!"

Cyrus shook his head. "This is as up as I go." 

T.J let out a big cheer and Cyrus watched, heart lurching in fear as T.J let go of his swing and jumped. It looked like he was flying, and Cyrus wished he could be that free, but he knew that he'd never be brave enough to do the same. 

T.J ran behind Cyrus' swing and gave him a light push, making Cyrus cry out. T.J's hands felt warm where they'd landed on his back and he pushed again, higher this time. Cyrus yelled again, swinging back into T.J's hands as he gave one final push, bigger than the others and he ran underneath him to stand in front, yelling out "underdog!"

Cyrus was tingling all over and he felt butterflies in his stomach. His heart soared as he looked down below him. The ground didn't feel so far away with T.J standing there beside him and when he smiled like that it made everything infinitely better. 

"That was exhilarating!" He cried.

T.J smiled up at him. "You want another one?"

"No thank you." Cyrus said, but he was still grinning.

T.J pouted in an unfairly cute manner. "Aw, too bad." 

He pushed him again and again, making Cyrus scream louder and louder. T.J stood next to him, just to make sure that he was still enjoying himself and not screaming out of fear, but for the first time since he'd got here, Cyrus' eyes were sparkling and happiness had replaced the shakiness that was there before. 

Cyrus' yells were loud though, and they could be heard from across the field where Buffy was currently walking.

All she saw from there was her friend screaming and the 8th grade bully pushing him, so she began to run.

"Cyrus! Are you okay?!"

T.J felt cold panic rise in his throat again and suddenly the warm hands that had been catching Cyrus each time had vanished.

"I've gotta go." T.J said, and all the happiness that had been there in his voice mere seconds ago was gone. 

Cyrus put his feet down immediately, stopping the swing. "No, T.J. You don't have to" He said. "Buffy is - she's really cool." 

He didn't want T.J to leave. And he wasn't entirely sure why, because T.J was a bully and he'd only ever heard bad things about him... but... at the same time, all of his interactions with T.J had been exhilarating - the other boy was always opening doors to new experiences, and Cyrus couldn't get enough. He wanted T.J to stay. 

"Yeah, no." T.J said. He wasn't going to stay for another lecture or for Buffy to tell him how stupid he is. He looked back down at Cyrus though, heart breaking at the crestfallen look on his face. "But thanks for reminding me about swinging." He smiled at him, willing Cyrus to do the same. Wanting him to look happy - to be happy. "That helped." 

There was a moment where they just stood, looking at each other but Buffy was getting closer, and T.J really didn't want to hear what she had to say.

"I'm out." He said, grabbing his bag but Buffy was a fast runner.

"Hold up!" She called, and he stopped, turning around slowly. "Did you get my text?" She asked.

T.J made a point of looking at his phone and seeing the unread message notification before swiping it away. "Yeah." 

Buffy sighed. T.J could be insufferable. "Cyrus," She said. "Can you give us the playground?"

"Yeah, you know where to find me." He hesitated, looking to T.J before saying. "And so do you."

T.J smiled, watching as Cyrus walked away. 

"So what's the big news you just had to tell me?" He asked Buffy.

"So I did some research and I think I found something." She said. "You may have a problem with numbers." 

T.J raised his eyebrows. "You had to research that?"

"No, I mean I think you have a learning disability. It's like dyslexia but with numbers." She said. "I know it sounds bad but this is actually good news!" 

"What's good about it?!" To T.J, it just sounded like a way to diagnose him and tell everyone that he was an idiot. 

"You can learn math, you're just wired differently." Buffy explained. "The first step is to get you tested - we have to talk to Mr. Coleman."

"No. We don't have to do anything." T.J said. "And stop web-diagnosing my issues."

"I'm sorry. I'm trying to help you."

"Well, you're not!" T.J yelled. "And don't tell people I have a learning disability. I'd rather they just think I'm stupid."

Stupid could be fixed but a disability... that made it sound like he was broken, bent, disformed in some way - not right. It made it sound like he was different.


End file.
